When I first purchased tickets to the Fyre Festival I thought, “This is going to be the best time of my life.” And I was right.
Since I arrived on Thursday afternoon, Fyre Festival has been one of the most thrilling, incredible experiences I’ve ever had. Music, food, fun from start to finish, I’ve been having an amazing time. Honestly? This might be a bit over the top, but I wish this weekend would last forever.
I have been noticing though that several people are very upset. Whatever!
As soon as I arrived at Fyre, I realized this festival was different than others I’ve been to. When I deplaned, I was given a slice of pepper jack cheese and told, “None of the bands are coming and this is all that we have for you in terms of food.”
Ha! A little bit about me: I hate music and I love pepper jack cheese. What an absolute dream come true.
Next, I located my VIP tent, for which I’d taken out a personal loan of $15,000. There was a guy already in there and he said it was his tent. Sure enough, we had been double booked in the same tent. Uh, free roommate/best pal for the duration of the festival? Yes please, thank you!
FyreFestivalFraud (@FyreFraud) April 27, 2017
After six or so hours of chilling out with my Fyre roomie (even though he was a little socially awkward kept calling his family and the police, lol) and generally not really knowing what was going on, I decided to go grab my luggage.
“Your luggage has been stolen,” the man who was taking care of the luggage said when I got there.
Haha, I guess I can see why some people would be upset about that, but honestly I was even more psyched. The only thing I had in that suitcase was all my clothes and some food and the uninsured engagement ring I would be proposing to my future wife Bridget with, later on in the weekend. All replaceable! Besides, Bridget was stuck in Miami because her flight was later than mine and the festival organizers were telling the pilots “Don’t take off, everything is ruined,” or something. A little breathing room before we commit to each other for the rest of our lives? I’ll take it, lol!
Truly, someone up there has been shining down on me with this festival because it is exactly what I’ve needed.
On Thursday night, I sat around with some other festival goers and swapped stories over cheese dinner. I told everyone about the moment earlier in the day when I thought I saw Blink-182 but it was actually just some guys yelling at a pilot to get them home. I think they liked the story, but most of them just wanted to talk about going home and how there was no music or anything. Kinda lame, but you’re not gonna love everyone at a music festival, that’d be nuts.
Tr3vor (@trev4president) April 28, 2017
That night, I went to sleep on top of my collapsed tent and thought about all the great memories I’d have from this dope festival. TBH, it was tough to sleep with all the engagement my instas were getting practically everyone I knew was trying to figure out “where I was,” and “If I was okay,” and “When I was going to be able to get home.” Yikes, maybe you should’ve come if you’re so curious, Mom and Dad! Next Fyre Festival, I’m going on a tech detox.
This morning when I woke up, things were really chill. It seemed like most people had left probably didn’t have the same wristbands as me. I stood in place and danced a little bit with this one seagull. I even got a little sad, because I realized that eventually this awesome weekend would have to come to an end.
As I walked along the empty festival grounds, I found a piece of cheese lying in the grass another awesome meal provided by Billy McFarland and Ja Rule’s incredible festival. I thought to myself, “What did I do to deserve all this?”
Ha. Honestly? I don’t know. I guess some people just get lucky.
Please tell Bridget I will not be home for the foreseeable future.