Can I cook like … Donald Trump? Minced meat for every meal isnt all its cracked up to be
Donald Trump is an angry guy, and I think I know why: his diet is terrible. His favourite food is meatloaf, which I agreed to cook because I thought that meatloaf was what Americans called beefwellington.
Beef wellington, in case you dont know, is a delicious dish of fillet steak, covered in a mixture of pat, mushrooms and herbs, wrapped in puff pastry and then baked. Its delightful, but I dont know how to cook it myself, and thought that cooking la Trump (or, more realistically, la Trumps chef) would be a good excuse.
But meatloaf is not beef wellington. To make meatloaf, you take minced meat, spices, stale breadcrumbs and eggs, mix them together into a kind of paste, put it in a loaf tin, bake it for two hours, then serve with some form of carbohydrate. I accompany mine with loaded mashed potatoes for the authentic Trump experience: that is to say, I add sour cream, milk, fried bacon and onions to regular mashed potato.
How is it? Well, its not beef wellington, thats for sure, and I find my disappointment not to be eating steak, mushrooms and pastry hard to separate from my judgement of the dish. My partner, who thought meatloaf was some kind of savoury cake with mince in it, pronounces herself relieved with the meal, and Ithink on balance I am, too.
The problem with meatloaf is not that it is difficult, but that you put in a lot more effort than you get back. It requires assembling the ingredients for a good ragu (plus breadcrumbs and eggs, natch) and waiting as long as it would take to prepare a good ragu, all to make something much less appetising than aragu.
The same is true of Trumps preferred lunchtime snack: the hamburger. My burger la Trump is a lot better than the burgers Imade in the style of Paul Newman and Andy Warhol, but its still a bit disappointing. I am sure that, given time, I will be able reliably to assemble a flawless and delicious burger with just some braising steak and the right herbs every time. But that eventual good burger may never be worth the number of indifferent-to-poor burgers I will have to make to get there. Instead, its all-round easier to get someone to make one for me. That really is cooking like Trump.